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November 8, 2009 / theoldsilly

Dear Old Silly Sunday – This is Parenting?

Mom with messy kidDear Old Silly-

My mom. She’s like, always up in my face about my two kids. Says they don’t have any manners just because they don’t say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and they call their elders by their first names or maybe ‘old man’ or ‘old lady’ – you know, they way most kids do these days. Just the other day she came over to my house and my kids were just being kids, screaming at each other and fighting, teasing the cat, watching TV on the living room floor while eating pizza and sure, they were spilling tomato sauce on the carpet, but … I mean, look. I’m a single mom, okay? My sperm donor so-called man friend left a long time ago. And I do try my best to keep them in line, I make them take timeouts, even though it breaks my heart to do so. And I yell at them a lot, really I do. But I refuse to spank them like my mom says I should. No way. I remember when I got spanked as a kid and I swore I’d never damage my kids like that – what about their tender egos? … and I’ve read that you can damage their livers, too.

But she just won’t butt out. Keeps saying I’ll be sorry one day if I don’t discipline my children. Well, what about their feelings? I want my kids to grow up feeling well adjusted and free – not bound by damaged psyches and all afraid they’ll be smacked around if they simply want to have fun in life.

So what do you recommend, Old Silly? How can I raise my kids the way I feel is best and still deal with my old fashioned buttinsky mother?

Sincerely,

Nancy O Cleau

~~~~~

Wise Old SillyDear Ms. N O Cleau-

Apparently you were not disciplined strenuously or frequently enough as a child, either that or you were born mentally and psychologically challenged so no amount of dsiciplining administered by your parents would have helped anyway. I wish you had written me long before you had children so I could have advised you to not, under any circumstances, procreate. But the damage has already been done, you have gone and weakened the gene pool.

What to do from here? Move your children in with your mother, if she’ll have them, and let her take over the raising of your kids. They’ll be much better off. Perhaps she can beat the living bejeeebers out of them enough to get them back on track as possible contributers to society rather than growing up to be unmannered, self-serving, lazy slackards with no sense of familial, civic, or societal responsibility. It could happen. I’ve seen the reversal done effectively, albeit, admittedly, in rare cases.

As for you? You move in with mom too, now that I think best of the situation. Start over. Let mother (and father too, I hope?) re-raise you in proper fashion and this time appreciate the fact that true freedom comes through discipline.

And please? No more kids without a real man who desires to be not just a sperm donor stud but also a good, responsible father and husband.

Yours Very Truly,

The Old Silly

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27 Comments

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  1. Cactus Annie / Nov 8 2009 8:58 am

    LMAO! Excellent counseling, Old Silly – the problem is kids having kids, really.

  2. Elizabeth Spann Craig / Nov 8 2009 8:59 am

    I think I’ve seen those kids out! LOL!

    Elizabeth
    Mystery Writing is Murder

  3. Ron Berry / Nov 8 2009 9:03 am

    That is too close to true too often. I’m not a believer in capital punishment, but I do believe in raising well mannered kids. Unfortunately (you spell it), the govenrment (big brother), says we cannot disipline our children. Ah, it just dawned on me. Our government is manned by the very kids you describe! We are being ruled by the Orwellian menace.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 9:12 am

      Woa – Ron – “the Orwellian Menace” – gotta use that one, dude! Nicely thought through comment. 😉

  4. Barbra Kelser / Nov 8 2009 10:13 am

    Hey I know those kids – they live right across the street! LOL – good advice, Old Silly – in your own inimitable funny and sarcastic style. 😉

  5. yvonne lewis / Nov 8 2009 10:14 am

    Exceelent advice Marvin it’s hard being a parent harder still when they become adults. I speak from expereienece.

    Yvonne.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 10:33 am

      Hmm, yes – ain’t THAT the truth, Yvonne! 😉

  6. quirkyloon / Nov 8 2009 10:49 am

    Okay.

    I won’t be offended, cuz I’m thick-skinned enough.

    My 12-yr-old was the inspiration for this post, wasn’t he?

    Ha!

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 1:44 pm

      ehm, well … I wasn’t gonna name names, but … 😉

  7. Jeannine Gardella / Nov 8 2009 11:29 am

    You have to start early with the discipline stuff. When the kiddos are little and cute it is one thing, but after a certain point it isn’t so cute any more. Pretty soon no one wants to be around them, and that is very sad. It isn’t the kids’ fault either. I have a real issue with calling little girls princess from day one. They soon get the idea that it is true 🙂 and that behavior ain’t pretty either, especially at 17.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 1:45 pm

      Jeannine, I agree the brunt of the responsibility IS on the parents, for sure.

  8. Carolyn Howard-Johnson / Nov 8 2009 12:29 pm

    I suggest giving this mom a bottle of vinegar and a jar of honey and asking which she thinks will attract the most bees.

    I’m writing a memoir. Turns out it’s full of these Momisms. Geez.

    Best,
    Carolyn Howard-Johnson
    Auhthor of the multi awar-winning series of HowToDoItFrugally books for writers, http://www.howtodoitfrugally.com

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 1:47 pm

      HoJo – I’ve heard that honey and vinegar phrase used before – LOTS of truth in that one, eh?

  9. Patricia Stoltey / Nov 8 2009 12:30 pm

    I love this post so much. I often wonder what kind of teenagers and adults these undisciplined kids will turn out to be. Yikes.

  10. ettarose / Nov 8 2009 12:46 pm

    This reminds of a question one of my friends asked me. We were discussing parents who allow their children to run through a restaurant after they are done eating, and he admitted he had kids who did that. He then asked me how I broke my children of that and I replied, ” Easy, You never let them start” I think you can raise a well mannered child without beating. It is all in the boundaries that are set. Good answer Marvin!

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 1:48 pm

      Yes, Ettarose, kids can be raised efffectively without corporal punishment, but the boundaries MUST be clear and ENFORCED, as you say. Appreciate your comment!

  11. Helen Ginger / Nov 8 2009 2:34 pm

    Sounds rather like a vicious circle. Parents who can’t raise disciplined kids dump their undisciplined kids on their own parents who apparently weren’t able to raise kids who know how to raise disciplined kids.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

    • theoldsilly / Nov 8 2009 2:45 pm

      LOL – wow you hit THAT nail right on the head, Helen!

  12. Marcus Franks / Nov 8 2009 2:40 pm

    LOL – I’m with Helen – what’s the point it seems like, sometimes! Fun sarcastic witty counsel session today, old silly. 😉

  13. Stanley Berber / Nov 8 2009 3:43 pm

    Spare the rod and spoil the child – read that in some old book that’s rarely read anymore (wink). Capital advice, old silly – and thanks for the tongue in cheek humor today, lol 😉

  14. L. Diane Wolfe / Nov 8 2009 3:47 pm

    Well said!

    You’re right – avoiding the whole children thing would’ve been the best course of action.

  15. ReformingGeek / Nov 8 2009 4:16 pm

    I don’t have anything against a good whipping when the circumstances call for it. I like Etta’s comment about “you never let them start”!

  16. E. Marie / Nov 8 2009 5:20 pm

    No Clue, initially I thought you were referring to your own children (mainly because I’m watching football too). Boy am I glad you were only advising some one who appears to be clueless. “Sperm donor” – I just want to know who started this one. Our poor babies… 😦

  17. Enid Wilson / Nov 9 2009 4:48 am

    Very controversial! I actually think children need to be disciplined but being too harsh to them is not the right thing either. And what can you do about single parenthood in today’s society?

    Bargain with the Devil

  18. AmyLK / Nov 9 2009 3:22 pm

    Cute! And so on point! Too many parents today want to be their children’s best friend, which cannot happen if you want your children to behave. There is a fine line between parenting and being their friends.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 9 2009 3:24 pm

      Good point and distinction, Amy – totally agree.

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