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November 11, 2009 / theoldsilly

Hilarious Hump Day – Please Forward This Message!

All year long, but especially more so during the holidays,  I receive from friends, family, colleagues and numerous well intentioned people, email forwards with the most profound offerings of many blessings to be received if I will but “Forward this message to ten people in the next seconds!” or “Please pass this on … don’t let the chain of love be stopped!” or “Pass this on to the twelve people you love the most and then please send it back to me!” – that sort of thing. And in return I will, for this small cooperation, be blessed with abundance in the forms of vast amounts of money, winning the mega-millions lottery, having all my ailments miraculously cured, a brand new shiny Mercedes Benz, and oh – let’s toss in lasting world peace for good measure. It is very thoughtful, the kindness and generosity behind these kinds of chain emails, but …

I have to tell y’all, and just being honest …

None of them have ever worked!

~~~~~

With hundreds of faithful attempts under my belt, I’m still just as broke, driving the same car, arthritis still plaguing the Old Silly, the Swine Flu is as prolific and scary as ever, cancer has not been cured in all its forms, Jews, Christians and Muslims still hate each other, and the world is still at war.

So. This holiday season I am asking that all blessings you wish to bestow upon the Old Silly be sent in the form of cold hard cash, gold will also do, any precious metals or stones, fine … frequent flyer miles’re nice, and if you happen to have any stock in Microsoft you’d care to sign over ownership of to me, that’d also be great. Food, too. Can always use food. I’m omnivorous, so just make sure it’s packaged properly to stay fresh in transit. Thanks.

But please … no more email forwards. I just don’t believe in them anymore, sorry.

Before you go? I’d ask that you copy this post, paste it into your email ‘compose a message’ box, load up the BCC recipients with everyone on your usual broadcast list, and-

Please Forward This Message!

~~~~~

Click on Tweety Bird and FORWARD this post if you give a good gosh darn!

Tweet Me from The Old Silly's Free Spirit Blog

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26 Comments

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  1. Ron Berry / Nov 11 2009 7:19 am

    Will do, but the recipient (you spell it), of all the cash and gifts will have to be in my name for good luck you know. I would put your name on it, but then you’d be too busy spending it and enjoying the fruits of luxury to post these blogs, and we really can’t have that, now can we?

  2. yvonne lewis / Nov 11 2009 7:51 am

    Your wish will be granted Marvin , the money and gold I have none ( or little ) so that I can’t send, I too have arthitis so I can pass that on to you ,
    What I can pass on is my many thanks for your support in the past and hopefully in the future.

    Yvonne.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 8:37 am

      Aw, Yvonne, what a sweet thing to say – you are VERY appreciated by the Old Silly, for sure. 🙂

  3. Crystal Clear Proofing / Nov 11 2009 8:30 am

    Great post, Marvin! Whenever I get those emails, I always delete that nonsense at the bottom whether it be simply to forward or comes with a promise of free stuff or abundant wealth. I always check Snopes to check out some of the miraculous stories that make the rounds also…

    Only because this fits so well in your post, and you mentioned the BCC field – I’m going to take a little initiative here and impose upon your blog and your readers and paste in a message that I include on the bottom of some of the emails I forward. With spam and identity theft being such a problem, I don’t know why more people either are not aware or simply don’t take the time to do this – please everyone — it will help with YOUR spam, and really – why have YOUR email address floating all over the globe? Please feel free to copy and paste this for your own use!

    Note: If you forward this email, please delete the forwarding history, which includes my email address!
    It is a courtesy to me and others who may not wish to have their email addresses sent all over the world!
    Erasing the history helps prevent spammers from mining addresses and viruses from being propagated!
    Also, when forwarding an email to multiple recipients, rather than putting the addresses in the “To” field,
    use the “BCC” field. In doing so, everyone sees either their name only, or “undisclosed recipients,”
    depending on which email program you’re using. Thank you!

    Marvin, thank you for the unauthorized use of your forum. I just felt it appropriate. Thank you. Class dismissed. OH WAIT — that’s your call! LOL!! Happy Hump Day Everyone! 😉

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 8:36 am

      That’s excellent stuff, Crystal – glad to provide a forum for it to reach lots of peepe – thanks for sharing!

  4. John Standish / Nov 11 2009 8:31 am

    I know, I get those all the time, too. Don’t usually forward them, even though sometimes they are of some merit – the intent/message. Me? I can send you some Alleve – helps with the joing pain, lol. Fun post, as usual.

  5. Elizabeth Spann Craig / Nov 11 2009 9:03 am

    Oh, I hate those, too. The only ones I like to see passed around are the Scrabble challenges.

    Crystal had a good idea, too.

    Elizabeth
    Mystery Writing is Murder

  6. Cactus Annie / Nov 11 2009 9:05 am

    Good info in Crystal’s comment! I used to pass those silly things on, but not anymore. And I also do a Snopes check now when something particularly outstanding is being claimed to be true. Typical great humor in your way of putting things, old silly – had me bustin’ out laughing – thanks for the mid-week message wrapped in a good funny! 🙂

  7. Creative Chronicler / Nov 11 2009 10:32 am

    Great post and I definitely know some people I’m going to email this to. I try not to send too many forwards. I don’t mind them all that much but my pet peave with them is the ones that come from people who never send you anything but those. You know the ones… they never send an email just to say hi or see how you are, rarely if ever respond to your emails but send you ever FW they receive.

    And Crystal I love what you wrote and am adding that to the email. Maybe some people will take the hint.

  8. quirkyloon / Nov 11 2009 10:33 am

    Have no fear! The Brainz is in the mail!

    I like mine with ketchup or is it catsup? Why is there a vast difference in the spelling of the words?

    I prefer ketchup. It is more phoneticalLY correct.

    *smile*

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 11:32 am

      “SimpLY a wonderfulLY great gift, Quirkster!” exclaimed the Old Silly happiLY.

  9. Jane Kennedy Sutton / Nov 11 2009 10:46 am

    I’ve never been into chain letters even when they were sent by snail mail. Depending on what they promise, I’ll either tell the sender I’m not doing it or I’ll simply hit the delete. I like your solution. Let us know how much cold hard cash and all you rack up this holiday season!

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 11:33 am

      LOL – hey if I get 5 bucks it’d be worth more than all the phony balony false promises! 😉

  10. Jeannine Gardella / Nov 11 2009 11:20 am

    I hate those things, and I usually just hit the delete button without even reading them. I especially dislike the ones that use the “guilt” factor. Thanks for your post.

  11. Stanley Berber / Nov 11 2009 11:34 am

    Great solution, Marv! lol

  12. Stephen Tremp / Nov 11 2009 2:13 pm

    I rarely forward a message. It has to be real funny and clever for me to do that.

    Hey Marvin, can you reply with how you set up the Click on Tweety Bird and FORWARD this post if you give a good gosh darn icon? Thanks.

    Stephen Tremp

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 3:00 pm

      Stephen – here’s the html code I use. On blogspot.com blogs in your dashboard/control panel there is a place to add permanent codes/phrases at the bottom or top of all your posts automatically, or you can insert it/them one at a time if you wish. You will have to substitute your blog url for mine, and you also have to have a photobucket image url to replace the one I use – well mebbe you can use mine but if it doesn’t work you can Google tweety bird images for use on photobucket – that’s what I did, found one I liked, photobucketed it, grabbed the url and inserted it into the html code formula. Hope that helps! Oh, and of course you can make up whatever line/sentence you want to go above Tweety Bird, mine is “Click on Tweety Bird and tweet this post if you liked it!”

      Also the “You gotta check out this post from The Old Silly!” is something you’d want to write your own replacement for, and you can change it anytime you want, of course.

      Tweet Me from The Old Silly's Free Spirit Blog

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 3:03 pm

      Oops – well I see THAT didn’t work! lol – WP automatically hyperlinked the code here in the comments. Tell ya what, just email me at marvwilson2020ATgmail.com and I’ll email you the code, ok?

  13. ReformingGeek / Nov 11 2009 2:28 pm

    “Click here and someone will donate a free mammogram.” I hate those, too.

    BTW, your check is in the mail!

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 3:05 pm

      Thanks for the check! And yeah – those ones – you should see the look on my face when I get an offer for a free penogram!

  14. E. Marie / Nov 11 2009 3:05 pm

    This is the perfect gift idea for this year. If anyone wants to know what I’d like, I’ll share this post and thank them in advance for the clemency.

    • theoldsilly / Nov 11 2009 3:20 pm

      “Clemency!” Yes – perfect application for a seldom used word, my English mastering friend! 😉

  15. Marcus Franks / Nov 11 2009 3:31 pm

    Ignore and delete – that’s what I do anymore. Mad witty way of posting this little tongue in cheek rant, old silly! 😉

  16. Barbra Kelser / Nov 11 2009 6:08 pm

    Hahahahaaa – love your humorous and cynical “solution” old silly! 🙂

  17. Patricia Stoltey / Nov 12 2009 12:52 am

    Very funny! I think I’ll suggest this very thing to the folks who fill my inbox with fwds (except I’ll instruct them to send the gifts to me, of course, not you).

  18. Enid Wilson / Nov 12 2009 4:27 am

    And I receive plenty of emails about 9 inches etc.

    Steamy Darcy

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