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November 29, 2009 / theoldsilly

Dear Old Silly Sunday – Sesame Street Censored

Dear Old Silly-

I was going to buy a “Sesame Street: Old School” DVD for my kids the other day, and I was astounded to find that they were listed as for “adults only” – the uncensored version! Uncensored? I was like, wtf? I’m a mid-thirties woman, really, really loved Sesame Street as a kid myself, and I wanted my kids to enjoy the same fun I had as a youngster watching The Count, the Cookie Monster, Big Bird, all of them doing their thing, but … no banana. What gives, Old Silly? Why would old Sesame Street shows need to be censored in any way?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Fondaree Runz

Dear Mrs. Fondaree Runz-

Yes, I know of what you speak, and I was at first rather perturbed at this seeming quandary myself. Apparently, what your generation of tender ears and virgin eyes were allowed to view on the telly is no longer appropriate for this new generation of silly softies. You see, no longer will Big Brother permit Cookie Monster to be depicted as a sugar eating fanatic – this leads to diabetes. Bad influence. Also, you will remember, Oscar’s depression was never treated … totally irresponsible television. And the recurring scene in which the masonry on the dingy brownstone, at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating … how can we let this be shown to the little ones these days?

There is nothing in the entertainment world of today, with its candy-cane, razzle-dazzle-colored animation, jazzed up with computer tricks, that can prepare young toddlers for scary glimpses of simpler times as shown on the old Sesame Street skits. Why, just think of it, if you dare …

  • On the very first episode, which aired on PBS 10 Nov. 1969 — a pretty, lonely girl, like Sally, might find herself befriended by an older male stranger, who held her hand, and took her home.
    Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife, and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was… he fed her milk and cookies. And, now get this …
  • The milk looks decidedly, and dangerously… whole!
  • Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen — cows eating common grass, not grain, improved with hormones. But wait, as you recall, it gets even worse …
  • Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands, and fill one bucket at a time!
  • Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows!
  • And then there was Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, who was often shown smoking a pipe. Bad, unsavory, and foul imagery for our tender toddlers, surely you would agree.
  • Oscar and Bert were grouchy. What kind of example is that for kids?
  • On one show, a radio plays a late-’60s news report — something about a “senior American official”, and “two billion in credit over the next five years” — that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt, and stagflation, in the offing. Such dismal images to implant in the gray matter of tiny tots. Shame. And so untrue, hmm?

So, surely you can see with me, as I now consider it, the wisdom of this censorship. Clearly, old Sesame Street is not for the faint of heart. And we, as responsible adults, should ensure that our children grow up to be overly sensitive, thin-skinned, ivory tower protected idealists, with hearts so frail they would perish at the slightest impropriety. Do you not agree?

So, I’m sorry I could not be of much help. But take heart – there are lots of great video games available these days, completely uncensored, that have realistic, vivid and graphic, computer enhanced depictions of people being maimed and dismembered with blood and guts spilling out, created by the youthful game players who can slaughter their victims with machine guns, machetes, chain saws, and the like. It’s great fun, and completely harmless. Not nearly so offensive as the rude, unrealistic, politically incorrect and insensitive old Sesame Street shows. They make wonderful Christmas presents, and will make sure that your children will grow up to be normal in today’s world … thanks to the benevolent, loving, watchful eyes and sagacious censorship of our Lord and Savior, Big Government.

Very Truly Yours,

The Old Silly

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17 Comments

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  1. yvonne lewis / Nov 29 2009 5:15 am

    My kids used to enjoy Sesame Street.

    Yvonne.

  2. CatLadyLarew / Nov 29 2009 6:09 am

    Boy, you just can’t trust anybody these days! People are always trying to steal your cookies!

  3. Elizabeth Spann Craig / Nov 29 2009 10:02 am

    Too funny! Sesame Street was always one of my favorites…didn’t talk down to the kids.

    Elizabeth
    Mystery Writing is Murder

  4. Barbra Kelser / Nov 29 2009 10:15 am

    Hahahaa! Love the scathing sarcasm. And censoring Sesame Street?! Ridiculous!

  5. Stanley Berber / Nov 29 2009 10:22 am

    Oh for heaven’s sake. Sesame Streeet reruns are damaging to kids? This crap makes me want to puke. Funny post, old silly, but also poignant. Love the play on words pun names you come up with, too. 😉

  6. Cactus Annie / Nov 29 2009 10:28 am

    The video games kids play these days – well, lots of them, are horrid. Love this biting satire and cynical post, Old Silly. Wise, sagacious counsel with your tongue firmly in your cheeck, lol.

  7. Marcus Franks / Nov 29 2009 10:47 am

    Big Brother can kiss my tush. Sesame Street was good TV and the majority of video games these days are satanic rubish. But anyway, loved the counseling session, made me laugh. What else can you do, eh?

  8. Jeannine Gardella / Nov 29 2009 11:06 am

    Wow – for a minute there I thought you were being serious. Scared me. Actually, it is awfully close to the truth. Kermit is still my favorite.

  9. quirkyloon / Nov 29 2009 1:31 pm

    Is nothing sacred? I thought all the hoopla was about the word sesame. Regular hamburgers everywhere are up in buns, erm, I mean arms, because Sesame seed buns get all the fuss.

    When was the last time you heard a commercial ranting and raving about a regular, plain, dumpy, hamburger bun?

    See?

    • theoldsilly / Nov 29 2009 1:57 pm

      Did you just call my buns plain and dumpy? (wink)

  10. L. Diane Wolfe / Nov 29 2009 2:40 pm

    Reminds me of dangers such as kids going outside to play in the street ALL DAY and without cell phones! Those were the days…

    Good stuff, Marvin!

  11. ReformingGeek / Nov 29 2009 3:26 pm

    I am so confused. They can’t watch Sesame Street but they can watch the movie UP? I just don’t get it.

  12. Helen Ginger / Nov 29 2009 3:51 pm

    The violence in games is not only off the wall but outta the box. And it can’t be shoved back in. Each wave seems to be stronger than the next. Makes you wonder what the toddlers of today will be like when they hit 30.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

    • theoldsilly / Nov 29 2009 5:14 pm

      Really – where does this out-of-control downward spiral lead to, one has to wonder in fearful dismay.

  13. Sylvia Dickey Smith / Nov 29 2009 5:00 pm

    I agree with Stanley! Go get throw up bowl!

  14. Stephen Tremp / Nov 29 2009 9:11 pm

    Hmmmm, this would explain a lot of things, like why I’m so moody and my house sometimes is messy like Oscar’s. Thanks, Dr. Marv. I feel better already.

    Stephen Tremp

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