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February 18, 2010 / theoldsilly

You’re Not Sick – You Just Have a Disorder

The other day for jollies I was perusing the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fourth Edition (DSM-IV).

I know, I know–I need to get a life. But I do that sort of thing for diversion – read dry, boring statistics … it makes novels seem more entertaining. So but anyway, I’m checking out the DSM-IV and wow! – psychiatrists have pretty much figured out that nobody has any lack of self-control issues. No. We just have a “disorder”, a clinical disease, and all’s ya gotta do is take some meds … fix ya right up!

For instance:

If you are obese? You don’t have an overeating self-control problem, no, no, no … you are to be pitied … you are afflicted with an eating disorder, that’s all. Not your fault you eat too much.

Addicted to porn and nasty sex? Not your fault. You have a sexual disorder, that’s all.

Got a foul mouth, swear all the time? Again, this is not a matter of willpower or personal responsibility. You simply have a foul language disorder. Take a pill.

Are you a constant liar? This is not your fault! You have an obsessive compulsive lying disorder. People need to understand and be considerate of you, hold you in their hearts and prayers.

Got sticky fingers, find yourself stealing all the time? You, as in the case of the constant liar, are most likely not at fault for this. Of course not – you have “Anti-Social Personality Disorder”.

Whatever your seeming shortcomings, your apparent lack of self-control is, reading the DSM-IV will give you the much needed relief from feeling any guilt at all. There are more than 300 documented, clinically proven mental disorders psychiatrists have identified, so surely you will find one that fits your case and you can go on being a sicko without feeling any need to control your compulsions. Oh, and you can get pills to help, too. Really good opiate-based pills!

Everyone who believes all this BS, please stand on your head.

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Leave a Comment
  1. Crystal Clear Proofing / Feb 18 2010 6:28 am

    I’ve noticed the influx of commercials the last few years for everything under the sun. Everything is a disease now and people don’t have to deal with problems any more, just take a pill. SCARY. Granted, some of these ailments are legit.

  2. Alex J. Cavanaugh / Feb 18 2010 8:23 am

    What do we do if we believe it IS BS?

  3. Ron Berry / Feb 18 2010 9:23 am

    I think there is a disorder for reading boring books also. It’s called old and boring disorder.

  4. Barbra Kelser / Feb 18 2010 9:25 am

    Or how about chocolate eating disorder? Not My fault I eat too much chocolate, right? 😉

  5. connie / Feb 18 2010 9:29 am

    Wow… I think this is hilarious… I’ve been telling people this very same thing… it isn’t u’r fault u’r like this, just like it isn’t u’r fault u can’t change and be who u want to be. “why isn’t the pill working?” I don’t know… it isn’t the pills fault either! 🙂

  6. Elizabeth Spann Craig / Feb 18 2010 9:30 am

    The one that’s bothered me lately is Tiger Woods….and his sex disorder. I mean, really.

    Mystery Writing is Murder

    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 11:38 am

      Oooh yeah – with ya on THAT one, Elisabeth!

  7. Stanley Berber / Feb 18 2010 9:34 am

    Yeah and then there’s the pill disorder. Ya take so many pills for all your disorders you have excessive pill disorder, eh? lol

    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 11:37 am

      Yes, Stan, like the “Multiple Disorder Disorder” – courtesy of The Department of Redundancy Department, right? lol

  8. Vivian Zabel / Feb 18 2010 10:07 am

    I’m afraid that’s a big problem in our world, no one is responsible for himself. Ish.

  9. tdryden1 / Feb 18 2010 10:16 am

    No one needs to tell us these fools that abduct, rape and kill little children are just “sick”. We know that. Death sentence will fix that problem, better than a pill.

  10. Cactus Annie / Feb 18 2010 10:40 am

    Not really funny, but still had to laugh at your witty sarcasm, Old Silly. True enough we’ve become a pill-popping irresponsible society.

  11. katrina / Feb 18 2010 11:06 am

    What do I do if I have theoldsillyitis? Is there a pill for that?

    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 11:30 am

      Yes there is help there, Katrina. $50 per order, I take visa, mc, paypal … we work with you!

  12. quirkyloon / Feb 18 2010 11:51 am

    Excuse me.

    The blood is rushing to my head! And now I’m feeling funky.

    Or it could be the pill I just took.


    Kidding! I totally agree there is such a rampant and pervasive attitude that nobody needs a sense of accountability anymore. Just take a pill or go to a…



    I’m on a roll! hee hee

    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 4:21 pm

      That’s right, Quirks – stop with the pills and get to GROUP! LOL 😉

  13. Elspeth Antonelli / Feb 18 2010 12:23 pm

    There’s a Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders? How did I not know this? Isn’t it nice that there’s no longer that quality called personal responsibility? I’ve made a few, shall we say, interesting choices in my life. I must get this book and discover what disorder I obviously have. Good grief.

  14. L. Diane Wolfe / Feb 18 2010 1:37 pm

    That is such a cop-out! No one wants to take responsibility for his or her behavior anymore.

  15. Joyce Anthony / Feb 18 2010 2:07 pm

    Silly, silly Marvi–guess you never read my essay “Is there a Psy”cat”atrist in the house?” I diagnosed all my kitties at the time:-) First, I must say there ARE people who do need medication, but I believe too many are using a “disorder” as an excuse. I also believe (and taught my son) that a disorder may make it more difficult to control something–but ultimately, a person has that responsibility–and if it means working harder, then work harder. A disorder is no excuse for inappropriate behavior!

    I used to get so angry when I worked in day care. There was one little boy who I always ended up with because he wouldn’t listen to anyone else. He had ADHD and his medication was due during the time he was in my care. He’d start acting up and say it was time for his “be good” medicine. His mother told him the medicine made him behave!!! I told him I knew he was strong enough to behave all by himself, the medicine just made it easier for him to do so. Unfortunately, I was not in a position to do or say more than that 😦

    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 4:22 pm

      Joyce, I was hoping you’d comment, as I know you deal with REAL disorder with your son. Your story about the day care boy is a great one, and a perfect example of abusing the situation, hmm?

      • Joyce Anthony / Feb 19 2010 1:40 am

        That it is, Marvin–So often, parents throw medication at a kid and expect it to substitute for active parenting. Medication is necessary in many cases, but it doesn’t train a person to do right, control themselves or any of that other stuff that makes a human human!

  16. yvonne lewis / Feb 18 2010 4:21 pm

    Can I get off my head now Marvin?????


    • theoldsilly / Feb 18 2010 4:23 pm

      By all means, Yvonne. You’ve made your point, now right yourself! lol 😉

  17. CatLadyLarew / Feb 18 2010 6:41 pm

    DSM-IV helped us identify some issues with my son with Asperger’s Syndrome… invaluable help. But, you can’t stop with the DSM-IV .No meds, but years of loving guidance and modeling to bring out all the gifts he has to offer.. .

  18. ReformingGeek / Feb 18 2010 8:31 pm

    It’s hard to write while on my head. How long do I have to stay here? Is there a pill for an obsession with being upside down?

  19. AmyLK / Feb 18 2010 8:54 pm

    They are looking for public comments on the new DSM5 which is to be published in 2013. Check it out when you are in need of more dry reading.

  20. julielomoe / Feb 19 2010 6:43 pm

    As someone who’s proud of my bipolar disorder, I take a somewhat different view from yours. Pills rule! But I know you already commented on my blog where I discussed the pros and cons of psychiatric medication – it’s the post before my latest, where I invite everyone to promote their books at a TGIF party.

    I love the DSM-IV – I even posted a photo of its cover on my blog!

    Julie Lomoe’s Musings Mysterioso

  21. Jeannine Gardella / Feb 20 2010 10:09 am

    Let’s don’t forget the $$$$$ angle in all this. You can’t bill an insurance company or make a claim for disability without a legit diagnostic code. Bingo.

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