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March 4, 2010 / theoldsilly

Clumsy Criminals

Yesterday I visited a humor blog I’ve recently added to my list of MVO’s (Must Visit Often). Leeuna, author of My Mind Wandered – and it Never Came Back blog, where she posts these witty, funny, observant and entertaining, sometimes sharp-tongued posts. She had a hysterical post up about stupidity within the ranks of contemprary criminals. I thought I’d do something like that myself today – what the hey – sounded like fun.

I did a Google search for “stupid crooks” and came across this site that posts regularly on inept crime attempts. It’s a gas, you should check it out. For right now, I’ve got three quick stories of bad guys being so stupid they botch the darn thing up.

I’ll start off with one I heard myself a couple years ago on a radio newscast in Detroit. Apparently two robbers went into a convenience store, robbed the place, then walked right across the street and started arguing over how they were going to split the money up. They got so loud and boistrous, somebody called the police complaining. They were still standing there in a rage taking swings at each other when the cops showed up, cuffed ‘em, and hauled their stupid assess off to jail.

The next two come from that site I mentioned, Dumb Criminals

Normally, there is nothing funny about a deadly drive-by shooting, even if the plot is botched. Notice that I said normally. An attempted drive-by shooting was stopped when the shooter forgot to roll down his window, according to CityPages. On the one hand, it’s good to know that no one was seriously hurt. On the other, I just know Windex is itching at the chance to turn this into a testimonial commercial. The shooter even had the window repaired and filed it as an insurance claim! Who says car insurance is so smart that a “caveman can do it”?


A robbery suspect got fingered after leaving his cell phone at the scene, according to The phone he left even had pictures of himself on it. Does this guy not have any friends to take pictures of for his contact list. Police issued a warrant for the suspect and the suspect’s cell phone carrier charged him for roaming.


Ha! Too. Frickin’. Ridiculous. Where’s the moxie in crime these days, hmm?

Hey any of y’all got a good dumb criminal story to share?

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Leave a Comment
  1. Barbra Kelser / Mar 4 2010 8:57 am

    Nothing to add, but OMG and LOL, what idiots! 😉

  2. Stanley Berber / Mar 4 2010 8:57 am

    Perfect, lol – serves ’em all right!

  3. Cactus Annie / Mar 4 2010 9:04 am

    Too funny – they all should get real jobs – not gonna have much future in the crime industry, lol. 😉

  4. John Standish / Mar 4 2010 11:17 am

    Too funny. And pathetic, lol

  5. quirkyloon / Mar 4 2010 11:23 am

    I echo all the above sentiments and add


    That’s my new word. *smile*

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 12:14 pm

      Love your new word, your Highness, lol 😉

  6. Marcus Franks / Mar 4 2010 12:09 pm

    These are stupid funny, lol. I once heard of a guy who robbed a bank and his getaway car ran out of gas before he could get 3 blocks down the street. I was like, “duh!” excellent planning there, idiot. Then again, he probably needed to rob a bank in order to afford gas what with the prices these days, haha.

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 12:15 pm

      Marcus, lol – makes “cents” to me!

  7. Thelma Banks / Mar 4 2010 12:42 pm

    Stupid heads – hoo boy – better take up another line or work, right? LMAO.

  8. Terri Dryden / Mar 4 2010 1:00 pm

    To funny! It is almost as bad as the guy who went into the bank, handed the teller his demands on a piece of paper. After he left the bank they looked at the paper and it was the robbers pay stub!!!! Now how dumb is that?

  9. Alex J. Cavanaugh / Mar 4 2010 1:19 pm

    Those are funny! Kinda like the Darwin Awards.

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 1:25 pm

      Exactly – kind of like weeding out the dummies and strengthening the gene pool, hmm? The idiots can’t procreate as long as they’re locked up, lol.

  10. L. Diane Wolfe / Mar 4 2010 1:41 pm

    I’ll have to check out her blog!
    I also love the Southern idiot ones. You know, the ones that begin with “Hey, ya’ll, watch this!”

  11. Leeuna / Mar 4 2010 3:05 pm

    Hey marvin, thanks for the blog mention and also for the hilarious “dumb criminal” stories. I love the window story. And yes, I’m thinking that Windex would LOVE to use that one if they could. 😀

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 3:16 pm

      You’re welcome, Leeuna. I appreciate your stopping in here so often at Free Spirit, too. Matter of fact, I’m heading over to your blog soon, too. 🙂

  12. Phillip Walters / Mar 4 2010 3:47 pm

    Ha! Just stumbled across your blog doing a Google search for the same thing! What’re the odds?! Loved the post – idiots are in ALL enterprises, it seems, lol.

  13. yvonne lewis / Mar 4 2010 4:26 pm

    Enjoyed the read Marvin, had a good laugh.


  14. Patricia Stoltey / Mar 4 2010 5:30 pm

    These guys don’t seem much dumber than most politicians, but at least the crooks are funny…

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 5:41 pm

      Pat, LOL and right on with THAT comment, sista! 😉

  15. karen walker / Mar 4 2010 5:40 pm

    Sorry, no criminal stories to share. But this was interesting. Oh, and thanks for reading my memoir, Marvin. Glad you are enjoying it. I’m about to start Owen Fiddler

    • theoldsilly / Mar 4 2010 5:42 pm

      Yes, it’s so very well written, Karen – you make the reader really FEEL you. Can’t wait to get your feedback on the Owen Fiddler Experience! 😉

  16. Clumsy Crooks / Mar 4 2010 7:22 pm

    If you guys like stupid criminal stories, check out it is a blog about stupid criminals… I have been adding new material to it since 2005.



    • theoldsilly / Mar 5 2010 9:14 am

      Just visited your site, CC – AWESOME! LOL, hey but I signed up for your newsletter, but I couldn’t seem to figure out how to leave a comment. 😦

  17. ReformingGeek / Mar 4 2010 8:17 pm

    Those are great. I love the one about not opening the window.

    I love Leenua’s blog!

  18. Mason Canyon / Mar 4 2010 10:21 pm

    Those were great. Thanks for the laugh.

  19. Janita Snare / Mar 5 2010 6:00 pm

    At least he didn’t get arrested in Arizona. They have some of the most severe penalties in the US. Read about the penalties enforced under Arizona DUI law, not too pretty.

  20. Vince Polek / Mar 17 2010 4:46 pm

    Hey I love your article I though I would allege Ive been a telephone sex girl for a long time and enjoy the clientele you can see me at Live Here. Im perpetually online there and like to please and tease.. Keep up the posts I like chatting about this line of work.

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