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March 10, 2010 / theoldsilly

Hilarious Hump Day – Language Disorders

Surfing the net for something clever and funny to post here on Hump Day, I came across these clever uses of language. Enjoy and laugh – it’s Wednesday … T.G.I.W. – YAY!

1) A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.

‘In English’, he said, ‘A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.’

A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, ‘Yeah, right.’

2) Robert went to his lawyer and said, ‘I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.’   The lawyer smiled at Robert and replied, ‘Not a problem, leave it all to me.’ 

Robert looked somewhat upset and said, ‘Well, I knew you were going to take a big portion, but I would like to leave a little to my family too!’

3) A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, ‘Why are you trying to cross here when there’s a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?’

‘Well,’ replied the jay walker, ‘I hope it’s having better luck than me.’

4) Two lawyers arrive at the pub and order a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and begin to eat.

Seeing this, an angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!’

The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.

~~~~~

(Credit for today’s yuks goes to Good Jokes, Funny Short Stories)

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21 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Elizabeth Spann Craig / Mar 10 2010 6:21 am

    I love language funnies! Haven’t seen these….thanks, Marvin!

    Elizabeth
    Mystery Writing is Murder

  2. Michele Emrath / Mar 10 2010 8:04 am

    Ohmygod…These are fantastic! I am a new reader of Hilarious Hump Day, and I love it!

    Michele
    SouthernCityMysteries

    • theoldsilly / Mar 10 2010 1:02 pm

      Cool! Yup, every Wednesday, so blog in any ol’ time, Michele!

  3. yvonne lewis / Mar 10 2010 8:16 am

    You certainly know how to make a person laugh out loud ,
    Loved the post Marvin, I’m sure my neighbours think me mad with all the laughing.

    Yvonne.

  4. quirkyloon / Mar 10 2010 8:29 am

    That first one really had me smiling and chuckling! Very funny.

  5. John Standish / Mar 10 2010 8:40 am

    Liked them all but the first and last made me bust out loud laughing. Good Hump Day post, Old Silly!

  6. Cactus Annie / Mar 10 2010 9:09 am

    LMAO! Good ones today, Old Silly!

  7. Barbra Kelser / Mar 10 2010 10:16 am

    Too funny. Language can really get misuded in hilarious ways. Thanks for the laughs, Marv. 🙂

  8. Karen Walker / Mar 10 2010 10:24 am

    The last one is the one that made me laugh out loud. Thanks, as always.
    karen

  9. ReformingGeek / Mar 10 2010 11:38 am

    Snort! Leave it to me. Yeah, right.

    😉

  10. Leeuna / Mar 10 2010 12:39 pm

    Thanks Marvin. You made my day. I’m now an official H.H.D. fan. 🙂

    • theoldsilly / Mar 10 2010 1:03 pm

      Thanks, Leeuna – Hey maybe I should start an HHD Fan club? 😉

  11. Mason Canyon / Mar 10 2010 1:08 pm

    Thanks for the laugh. Love those.

  12. L. Diane Wolfe / Mar 10 2010 1:22 pm

    Really liked the last one!

  13. Elspeth Antonelli / Mar 10 2010 2:07 pm

    Excellent. I loved the last one. I wonder what they bill an hour?

  14. Ron Berry / Mar 10 2010 2:37 pm

    These are good. Thanks for posting.

  15. Alex J. Cavanaugh / Mar 10 2010 3:47 pm

    Funny stuff, Marvin!

  16. Galen Kindley / Mar 10 2010 4:56 pm

    My favorite was the attorney and the will. Perhaps it’s because my little brother is a lawyer–the family disgrace.

    Best Wishes, Galen
    Imagineering Fiction Blog

    • theoldsilly / Mar 10 2010 5:42 pm

      Aw, now, Galen – not ALL lawyers are bad people … it’s the 98 out of 100 who give the other two such a bad name, hmm? 😉

  17.  / Mar 31 2011 8:51 am

    I appeared to be happy to search out this web-site.I want to to appreciate it for your time for the excellent read!! I ACTUALLY positively taking advantage of any little bit of this and I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check out new items you text.

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