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September 29, 2010 / theoldsilly

Hilarious Hump Day – Who Owns this Property? (True Story)

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):

“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

“Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803; the year of origin identified in our application.

“For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’ expedition.

“Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you at the FHA find God’s original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our loan?”

The loan was approved.


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Leave a Comment
  1. yvonne lewis / Sep 29 2010 6:34 am

    That’s the way to do it,, I loved reading this, and it was lovely to get your blog once again.
    I don’t always get it so can’t comment.

    Have a lovely day.

  2. Mason Canyon / Sep 29 2010 7:16 am

    I love it. Now that’s my kind of lawyer. 🙂

    Thoughts in Progress

  3. AmyLK / Sep 29 2010 7:54 am

    I LOVE this! Happy Hump Day!

  4. karen walker / Sep 29 2010 8:42 am

    Marvin, I think this is my favorite since I’ve met you. Just love it. By the way, I’ve been meaning to thank you for your comment on my blog updating me about reading my memoir. You’ve been so super busy, I thought for sure it was set aside permanently. Thank you so much. And btw, would love to have you guest on my blog one of these days about something memoirish maybe and then you could mention your new release. What do you think?

    • theoldsilly / Sep 30 2010 4:01 am

      Karen, I would absolutely LOVE to do that. Will contact you off-blog soon, ok?

  5. Kissie / Sep 29 2010 8:48 am

    Ah 🙂

    • theoldsilly / Sep 30 2010 4:02 am

      You know, Kissie, you really need to learn to be able to express yourself with fewer words, hmm? (wink)

  6. Ron Berry / Sep 29 2010 8:54 am

    Well done and well researched on the lawyer’s behalf. He payed, prayed and got the loan. Just took the right ‘power’ to do it.

  7. ReformingGeek / Sep 29 2010 10:21 am

    Ah, very good story.

  8. Arlee Bird / Sep 29 2010 11:08 am

    Now who can argue with that!

    Tossing It Out

  9. Stephen Tremp / Sep 29 2010 3:41 pm

    I tried the “We’re on a mission from god,” thing a few times but it never worked for me LOL! Hey, stop by today and see if you can help me with a jailbreak scene. Thanks.

    Stephen Tremp

  10. Alex J. Cavanaugh / Sep 29 2010 3:42 pm

    Clever response! I like the snark.

  11. Jane Kennedy Sutton / Sep 29 2010 5:07 pm

    Brilliant letter and attorney! I’m going to be chuckling over this for a long time.

    • theoldsilly / Sep 30 2010 4:06 am

      Yeah I thought it was pretty outstanding myself.

  12. AK / Sep 30 2010 10:30 am

    Hilarious.. Let me forward this to my girl… Might cheer her up..

  13. L. Diane Wolfe / Sep 30 2010 2:35 pm

    Funny but true, I’m sure!

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