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April 22, 2011 / theoldsilly

Some Good Friday Fun – Church Bulletin Bloopers!

Hey all, thanks for blogging in on this Good Friday. I know lots of folks who read this blog will be attending the church of their choice this Easter Weekend. And, while the significance and meaning of Easter is a serious matter, it is also cause for rejoicing. Sooooo, I thought I’d kick off the festivities with some lighthearted fun for everyone. These are actual notices, bulletins and/or announcements, made in churches across the land.

Enjoy, and have a wonderful weekend!

What would we do without those wonderful church ladies and their typewritten (well, nowadays keyed in and printed out) bulletins?

  • The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
  • The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
  • Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
  • Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
  • Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  • Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  • The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  • Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
  • The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
  • This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM …. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

~~~~~

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10 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Hilary / Apr 22 2011 6:44 am

    Hi Marvin .. we all do them .. I’ve typed some incredibly ridiculous words or phrases and I’m certain I haven’t realised them all .. these are extremely funny too .. love the ones ‘Bring your Husband’ .. and the potluck supper .. but all of them .. so easy to do .. fun – thank you for my morning lift!! I typed life there .. have a peaceful day .. Hilary

  2. Margot Winston / Apr 22 2011 7:08 am

    OMG – too funny, lol. Loved all of them, but the “bring your husbands” one had me spitting my orange juice! Teeheeee ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Alex J. Cavanaugh / Apr 22 2011 7:19 am

    But if I bring a blanket and my wife, is it still sinning?

  4. Ron Berry / Apr 22 2011 9:11 am

    Beans and music, that must have been a Boston congregation. Very good and very funny.

  5. ReformingGeek / Apr 22 2011 9:20 am

    Hee Hee. A good giggle this morning. Thanks.

  6. Elizabeth Craig / Apr 22 2011 9:32 am

    Love these, Marvin! Thanks for the smiles and here’s hoping you have a nice Easter weekend. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Cactus Annie / Apr 22 2011 9:42 am

    OMG – I gotta send the link to this post to some e-pals. What a stitch. Thanks, Old Silly, and have a great Easter weekend! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Stanley Berber / Apr 22 2011 9:43 am

    Hahahahaaaa! Excellent fun for a Good Friday post, Marv!

  9. Arlee Bird / Apr 22 2011 10:53 am

    Some great material here. This gave me a nice laugh.

  10. Connie Arnold / Apr 22 2011 12:24 pm

    Too funny, Marvin!

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